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  1. #1
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    Asking for Help (I'm Done)

    I'm done asking for help on this forum. I'm done with it, period.

    When recently trying to get help on a subject, I got another terse response from a user. This has been the norm here, and I'm not going to take it from y'all any more.

    See the string below for the post.

    http://www.codingforums.com/showthre...90#post1237090

    So that's it. I'm done. Consider my comments there my exit interview. I know this thread will be moved by the mods, but I wanted to post it in the busiest part of the forum so as many people would see it before I do.

    What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

  • #2
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    I think you may have been reading too much into Lerura's comment there, it seemed relatively innocent to me.

  • #3
    Senior Coder xelawho's Avatar
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    agreed. looking over your past posts (at least in the js forum) I think you should note that the most helpful answers you have gotten have been to questions where you have posted the code you are working with.

    fwiw, Lerura has always seemed to me to be a rather helpful user. please bear in mind that we are volunteers here, not help desk employees. why make it harder for us by making us guess which of all the possible problems may be the most likely one in this instance?

  • #4
    The fat guy next door VIPStephan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dougcollins02 View Post
    I know this thread will be moved by the mods, […]
    You must be a mind reader.

    Quote Originally Posted by dougcollins02 View Post
    […] but I wanted to post it in the busiest part of the forum so as many people would see it before I do.
    And what is the point? Are you looking for people to commiserate with you?
    This site wouldn’t be as popular as it is if what you feel you have experienced actually was the norm. Pull yourself together and don’t impose your frustration over an issue on others.

  • #5
    Senior Coder alykins's Avatar
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    Sorry
    on a serious note though- have you thought about it from those of us who are trying to help? constantly berated by "please help me with my code it's broken and I don't know why" and then they don't post code... or "I am getting an error message (or ten) and I don't know what it means! Please help!" and no post of error message...

    There are times when the code is 'not needed' but the simple fact you are asking and learning means that you do not know when it is not needed. Even if the code has absolutely no relevance (in your opinion, or even reality) it may tell someone what it is you are trying to do and clarify the issue. It is easier to read code than interpret what we may *think* is going on.

    The second part of this post (after the 'on a serious note...') is not meant to be sarcastic, belittling, rude, etc... it is an effort to show why we may come across as such. heck- I would say that over half the posts I see come through that relate to VB/C#/Java can/could be solved by learning how to use debug. There is a lot of 'do it for me' and not enough 'I want to know please teach me'

    Your post was a 'I want to know please teach me'- I am not targeting you; I am simply saying that since we do this as a hobby/volunteer-activity we attempt to tolerate as much as we can- at times the sarcasm comes out.

    Also I am assuming you're from the states- keep in mind that quite a few of the senior members here are (I assume) from UK. Their lingo/slang/terms/etc does not translate as well. What we may take as a slam in the US may be a "DOH" type joke there. Cross cultures. Lerura if you'll note is from Denmark- no clue what her(?) social ques are. There is a reason why when foreign people come to US they don't get sarcasm, slang, etc... there's a reason why when we go to foreign countries we don't understand their sarcasm/slang/etc.

    Relax a bit- this is a high stress field- no sense in stressing over an internet post.

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  • #6
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    Before I get started, I want to say that I'm fine with discussing this issue, but I will never post a question here again.

    I'm very sad that none of yous seem to understand this issue.

    I posted this to get some discussion going around the topic, and because I have been genuinely turned off by the responses of what I'll call "senior members" here (describing anyone who responds to calls for help here on a regular basis, for the lack of a better term). I've felt abused myself, and seen so many instances of snarky responses from senior members to other posters that it's made me absolutely sick to my stomach.

    A few things to address:

    One of the posters above asked me to stand in your shoes when asking for help. I've always done that, and as someone with an intermediate level of experience I've tried to help here when possible as well. For instance, when it comes to graphic design I doubt that there's more than a handful or more knowledgeable or capable folks on this forum than I. There's not a lot of questions about this on this forum, but I try to help whenever I can.

    What I'm trying to say is that I know what this feels like. I work as a corporate trainer, and I know what it's like to try and solve a problem when you don't have enough information to do so. It can be frustrating when you can't help, but exhilarating when your response does improve the situation.

    Along the same line of thinking, I don't think responders put themselves in the shoes of the person asking the question often enough (or at all) in this forum. That Lerura's comment seemed "relatively innocent" to some of the users here is downright sad, in my opinion. The people who post here fall into three categories:

    A.) Teaching themselves coding as a hobby for fun or mental exercise;
    B.) Teaching themselves coding because they cannot afford a formal education in the field, but have a practical application for it in their work or personal lives; or
    C.) Students at various levels of the education system learning coding in order to apply it as a means of professional existence.

    In any category, the people who are responding have probably been at one stage or another in their own lives. I know once you do something for a living or for fun long enough, it's difficult to remember what it was like when you were starting out, but could you at least try? Any person in these categories deserves our respect.

    I'm well aware this is a high-stress field, and the people helping here are volunteers. I appreciate that people are willing to give of themselves to help out; however, senior members here seem to be lacking in compassion. I would challenge any of you here to admit, with a straight face, that you have never seen a posting where a response was short, rude, or insulting.

    This is exactly my point-- that type of rudeness and snarkiness is far too common on this forum, to the point where it's turning people off of posting here at all. Doing something for the good of others has to come from the heart. There is no room for sarcasm or belittling.

    With all of this in mind, I'd like to suggest a few things for your consideration:

    1.) All users asking a question, no matter how basic or simple, are entitled to respect and understanding. If you see someone you know well talking down to a poster, get in touch with them and let them know this is not okay. PM them, call, text, e-mail, whatever.
    2.) With those "do it for me" type of posts-- understand that many people who ask for this usually want to learn, but do not phrase their question well. Give them the tools to solve their problems, and have patience with them. Often times, you need to see how something is done in the first place before you can do it yourself.
    3.) This is not free help desk support. The people here are not here for free tech work or to build your projects for you. If you use this site as such, you forfeit all your rites to being treated with respect. There is a line between asking for an example and asking for something to be built for you. That said, if you feel that someone is abusing the system, get in touch with them and help them out, preferably by PM. Let them know how to best phrase their questions to get helpful and respectful responses. I think this job is best done by the admins and mods.
    4.) Above all else, speak professionally and appropriately in all circumstances when helping a user. Not only does this make you seem more trustworthy as a source, but it will encourage users to continue their personal development.

    My frustration with Lerura stems from multiple occurences of this over a long period of time. I know that I'm not the only one who's felt this vexation, and I certainly won't be the last person to leave the forums because of mistreatment by senior users.
    Last edited by dougcollins02; 06-06-2012 at 06:37 PM. Reason: tone and grammar
    What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


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